Tuesday Transformation Tool| Being Fragile Proof|



Many years ago a friend of mine made a fantastic comment, ''No matter what just be fragile proof!!'' I was visiting Chennai for an office assignment, and wanted to catch up with my friends over dinner! We were in a restaurant and she had this weird conversation with her boss, who seemed to scream at her for no reason or fault of hers...and she patiently comforted him and assured, following day things will be taken care of. As she hung up the phone, I was expecting her to break down, however to my surprise she seemed quite composed about the entire episode. This was in fact contrary to her earlier personality I had known...so I was surprised. That's when she shared her newfound tool, FRAGILE PROOF!! She explained that people are generally not harsh, it's the circumstances, life's various experiences that trigger their, outbursts. In some cases they feel that it's the outbursts that get them the results they desire eventually, it becomes a part of their personality. If one becomes fragile to such behaviors, one is actually being as immature as the other person. Thus being fragile proof on such occasions can be mutually beneficial. This can also help the other person understand how they have reacted in a fragile way, and may prompt a behavior change in the future.

This statement and subsequent conversation brought about a lasting transformation in my life! Prior to this incident, I used to sit for days together thinking about people their comments, also feedback, which would be inconsequential. This not only impacted my productivity but also impacted my happiness quotient. In fact, I also used to debate endlessly about topics and perspectives which really didn't matter. This statement helped me introspect many such time stealers in my life, in form of situations, comments, or even people. Slowly I started practicing this transformational principle in my life...which has surely helped me get over unnecessary interactions, which would have otherwise made me feel low on energy for days together. I won't say I have totally mastered it yet, as there are some situations where I still fall into the trap...and then I eventually talk myself out of it by way of this principle and its logic!!

3 Techniques that can help practice this tool are:

  1. Identify situations that make you fragile -These could be personal -professional or social. You would know them as they occupy a lot of your mind space and interfere with your key focus areas of life.

  2. Accept - Exit or Distance - If it's something that is 80% good and 20% bothersome and giving you results that you desire, then accept and work around it. However, if it's the other way round, then consider exit or reducing proximity.

  3. Reframe to Maintain Your STATE -Maintaining a good state amidst various chaotic situations of life is always a challenging task. However REFRAME can be a great tool to address this and continue your FRAGILE PROOF state, even in the face of ambiguities. One of the best movies that demonstrate this really well is 'Life is Beautiful.'

Do share with us your experience when you encounter situations that disturb your state. How do you act on your stimulus, to ensure that you do not react but respond without complaints...and remain fragile proof.

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