“Be careful what you wish for, you’ll probably get it.” – Proverb. In life we constantly have many dichotomies and a constant internal debate of what we truly want. Very often after we get what we want, we have questions around the same ...once we achieve something we lose the value for it and how important it was once in our life.

Like Harry Potter we all have the unconscious magic wand,,, which we seldom hone due to the ambiguity in our mind. Our mind is our biggest tool to identify what we truly want and the path for the same.

What if money can’t buy what you’re really looking for?

What if there’s a simpler or more effective way to get what you want?

In Work from the Inside Out: Seven Steps to Loving What You Do, Nancy O’Hara writes about an approach to help you figure out what you really want.

Work Goals, Thing Goals, Feeling Goals and Thinking Goals

How do you figure out what you really want?

What do you really want at work?

What tangible things do you want?

What relationships do you want?

What feelings do you want more of (or less of)? What states of mind (such as peace of mind) do you want more of?

In NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) the understanding of every feelings, connection between neurological processes (neuro-), language (linguistic) and behavioral patterns learned through experience (programming), and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life. Also understanding the feelings -sentiments -emotions or freedom you are seeking through accomplishment of the goal is critical to the satisfaction that you finally want to accomplish.

8 Ways to identifying What You Really Want

  1. Frame out work goals, relationship goals, feeling goals, and thinking goals. I think a lot of goal setting exercises that people are taught tend to be pretty limited. I like the fact that O’Hara frames out the goals into meaningful buckets. I think this is the key to figuring out the real drivers behind some goals.

  2. Unmasking your goals is a key step for clarity. The goal behind the goal is what’s important. The WHY as Simon Sinek often refers to is critical to pursue the goal and lay out the best framework for its accomplishment.

  3. Make the process as meaningful as the outcome. The pursuit needs to be as meaningful as the accomplishment. My favorite line from her steps is “…And decide, since it is so important to have this thing, that everything along the way you must do to get it will be as important, as valued and as pleasing as the thing itself…”. For me, the most important message in this is that the process of achieving the goal is as important as the goal itself. It makes the day to day meaningful. If you know you’re moving towards what you want, which may require sacrifice, but you are aware of what you are trading, the path becomes more rewarding.

  4. Results are instant. As soon as you know your are on your path, every step on your path is the right one. Martin Luther talked and walked his dream – his pursuit was as meaningful as his accomplishments. In one night, Ebenezer Scrooge (a protagonist in Charles Dickens' novel -A Christmas Carol) got to see his past, present and future. He didn’t like his future. He started living the life he wanted to lead the next day.

  5. Purpose and passion get you back up on your your horse. Life happens. We got knocked off our horses. The trick is getting back on. Having clarity in what you want and passion in what you do, helps you get back on your horse. If you’re not confident in your path, it’s easier to get knocked off your horse and even tougher to get back on.

  6. Check that your ladder is up against the right wall. Having clarity on what you want, helps you choose more effective strategies. if you know what you really want, you can choose more effective strategies.

  7. Mitigate the risks of having a life of regrets. In case you don't like what you have or share... You can immediately chose a more caring approach with the people in your life and change your destiny.

  8. Maybe you’ve had it all along. Life sometimes sends you on the wild goose chase for the adventure!!! It's only after the adventure you realise you already have what you are seeking or they are very much achievable for you with effective planning.

Are you aware of what you truly want in life ...What are your ways to DISCOVER your MAGIC WAND ...How would like to use the same for your journey in life...

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